If she can do it...

My sister gave birth this week. An event that I was actually blessed to be a part of, and she was determined to have a natural birth. Well, sixteen hours into it, she had had enough and opted for the drugs. Who can blame her? Anyway, before we hit that wall, her nurse looked at her and said, "Think of someone you know who had a natural birth, and when things are rough, just remember, if she can do it, you can too."
I am here to announce that I have found my freaking inspiration. Thanks to Nathan Bransford and his "This week in publishing" post, I am happy to announce that if Tyra Banks can fake her damn way through an YA Lit novel then I certainly can. You have got to be freaking killing me here! Tyra Banks? YA Lit? If I didn't despise that woman and her "I am God's gift to the world" attitude, then I promise, I PROMISE, I would now. My red face, angry knit brow and furious typing are probably flipping out my precious new niece in the other room, but this is beyond...beyond...aw, HELL! I even lost my train of thought because I am so furious! Well, good for her, I guess. Does she want to take over the world next? When she runs for office, I think I will move to Canada, or Mexico, or Greece.
BLECH!!

In Awe...

I just finished reading another book, and as this story came to an end and I have visions of setting and feelings of great passion I feel for and through the characters, I wonder at the power of words and I am in utter AWE for those people who can mold words into such incredible stories! Not only that, but they do it over and over and over again. It makes me realize that I will never realize my dream of becoming a great or even a good writer unless I am writing everyday.
As an educator, I tell my kiddos all that time that in order to become better at something--anything--they must practice. Daily! Read everyday, write everyday, run, play, work at it, and you will become better. Why, then, am I not following my own advice?
Yesterday I wrote of my journaling adventure, and today I realize that it is not enough. I must put in the time and effort. I must make myself worthy of the power of the word and write, like I have never written before.
I feel as if anyone reading this would laugh and say, "DUH!" So, duh! it is! Make it a priority as much as I can. Make the choice to become great, and work towards that goal. I can't get it out of my head. Writing is all I think about. It consumes me, and I have to wonder why, when I spend so much time thinking is over, and I have the time now to work on it, why am I not writing more?
Time to push through the fear! Push through the idea that I can't! I can. I will.

Journaling

The progress on my book has halted. HALTED! I don't even know when I am going to be able to focus enough to sit down and write! So much is happening in my life right now that I have turned, once again, to another form of writing I find to be so uplifting, so calming! I have turned to journaling. I jump between avid journal writer and non-existent! However, with so much going on, I have needed an outlet to write down all the events and my feelings about them. So, I just filled up a journal I started six years ago (I told you I jump back and forth) and have started a new one. I have made a deal with myself to try and write SOMETHING in there on a daily basis. So far, so good. I am amazed at how things flow when I begin writing. I always think, "I have nothing to really say today." Then three pages later, I discover that I had TOO much to say and 45 minutes have passed.

I think that my new goal will be to focus on this blog a little more. I want it to be a personal success for me! I need to figure out why this writing thing is so important to me! Why do I want to do this so much? Why is it so important to me to call myself a writer? I think I need to get myself figured out, so I can  move to focusing on others--namely, my characters!

Ah, Praise!

There are three people who have actually read my book. My hubby, who loves it because he is wonderful and supportive and loves everything I do (well, almost). Sister L, who read it and then proceeded to try and tell me about it one day. This was a total compliment, and then Sister H called me after reading what I sent her a month ago and demanded more. Made my night. Motivation to write more? Perhaps. We'll see tomorrow.

I love to read!

If there was a job where I could just be a professional reader and read all day long, I think this would be the perfect job for me! I set a goal for myself to read a book a week this year. I post on my other blog Sadler Life all about the books I have read. I am devouring them lately, and I am loving it! Perhaps I don't want to be a write, maybe I want to be a publisher or an agent. How does one get into that line of work? Although, the best writers are great readers. Perhaps I just struggle daily with what I want to be when I grow up. I am not sure I will ever figure that one out!

My Inspiration

I never fathomed that there was such a writing community at my fingertips. I have started this blog because I see around me so many others who love to write as I do with so much more courage than I have. My dream to write and become a published author has been sitting on its' haunches waiting for me to make a move from occasional writer to serious writer. This desire has been festering, burning, begging to become a reality. Why, WHY, am I so afraid? Because it is scary. Because writing is hard and writing something that others will actually be interested in is harder.

Here is a secret: I have been working on a novel for a year and a half off and on. It is nowhere near close to being a finished work of art. It is my love and my enemy. Could it actually be my frenemy? So, if I put myself out there and ease my way into this community of writers who are so much braver than I am, perhaps I will be able to learn and grow and feed off of their courage and faith and wishes that one day that published dream will become a reality.