I'm Not Ready, I'm Just Scared

Really that is all there is to it. As I have struggled with the newness of life this year--a new city, a new marriage, a new expereince of being unemployed--I realize that I have failed miserably in the task I set before myself. I am a good writer. I even enjoy it. I can teach it and teach it and teach it all day long. I can tell others why someone is a good writer. I can describe good books, good phrases, good writing. I can recognize it. I can get others excited about it. I can explain and exemplify the things I am trying to teach my students ALL DAY LONG! Perhaps this is all I am right now. A teacher of writing. A teacher of literature. Since I have not been able to be that this past year, maybe I was looking to fill the void. Maybe that is the only sights I should be setting right now. Teaching again. I miss it.